Chapter Five: Blocked

Have you ever experienced this? If so let me know in the comments and what you learned from it!

Lately I have been feeling blocked from God. I don't know why but I feel like my faith is being tested. I am struggling to feel him, I ask and I get no answers and I cannot see him clearly in my mind. I have heard that some who have experienced this have said that Satan will block you when you have gotten too close to God. As if you reached the very top of the stairs and the door is right in front of you, just a couple more steps away but then Satan appears and blocks you from entering and what's profound about this is that Satan makes you believe that he can stop you from entering that door, but the truth is, is that he cannot stop you and all you have to do is move him to the side and keep walking. Only if it were that easy right? I wish I could just physically move him out of the way so I can get closer to God. I think the real test of this is if I still believe he is real and true even when I can not see him, feel him or hear him. This blocked feeling has been going on for quite a few months now and I have been really feeling it more than ever, like a heavy feeling.

When I pray I feel an emptiness on the other side as if Satan is blocking Gods view towards me as he is to me towards God. I keep praying anyway even though I feel it's not going through or not being heard. As I write this I realize that it would be silly to think that prayer once worked and then all of a sudden doesn't. Do you agree that maybe the enemy is blocking my path and prayers?

Or

Maybe my belief needs to be better, maybe I'm not believing in prayer as much as I think I am and to have a better faith, or maybe it's both. Maybe the enemy is draining my belief and it's up to me to fight against it. It's hard to fully believe in something when you can't see it, feel it or hear it but I guess that is what Faith is all about.

I also feel my tight grip on needing to control with what I'm praying about that could also play a role in this. I worry too much and care too much of what I cannot control. I feel there maybe many lessons within this trial I am facing. That I need to let go of what I cannot control, breathe and let be and then to keep my faith strong even when I may not fully understand why.

I am curious of how this will turn out. Will my mindset be different from today? Will I receive a clear given answer from God? Will I learn that the enemy was blocking me and that I found a way to get around him?

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Reminder: That this blog and these posts are my own opinion, beliefs and journey and you don't have to apply anything that I have shared. I am just sharing what I have and am experiencing.